Self-esteem is often misunderstood as a simple sense of confidence or self-approval. In reality, our sense of worth develops in the context of our earliest relationships and is deeply shaped by the ways we were seen, mirrored, criticized, or neglected. Low self-esteem is rarely just about “thinking badly of oneself” — it reflects unconscious beliefs and relational patterns that remain alive beneath the surface.

Many who struggle with chronic self-doubt or harsh self-criticism find themselves caught in repeating cycles: seeking validation yet unable to accept it, striving for perfection yet feeling perpetually inadequate, or dismissing their own achievements as unearned or meaningless. These conflicts often echo internalized voices of early caregivers or unresolved shame from past wounds.

​

How Low Self-Esteem May Manifest

• Chronic self-criticism or harsh inner dialogue

• Difficulty accepting praise or accomplishments

• Fear of failure or excessive need for approval

• Imposter syndrome in professional or academic life

• Sabotaging opportunities or relationships

• A pervasive sense of shame or unworthiness

​

Toward a More Integrated Sense of Self

In psychoanalytic work, the goal is not to install a superficial sense of confidence but to develop a more stable, realistic, and compassionate relationship with oneself. This involves grieving old wounds, understanding how unconscious loyalties and defenses sustain self-attacks, and gradually building an internal sense of worth that does not depend solely on external validation.

Over time, this depth of exploration can help reduce the grip of self-reproach and foster greater freedom to live, create, and relate with authenticity.

​

​