Sex Addiction

Sexual behavior is one of the most powerful and complex expressions of our inner world. When sexual urges become compulsive — pursued despite harm to oneself or others — they often signify more than mere “lack of control.” From a psychoanalytic standpoint, what is commonly termed sex addiction may reflect unconscious attempts to manage unbearable feelings: shame, loneliness, anger, ungrieved losses, or unmet attachment needs.

In compulsive sexual patterns, the individual repeatedly seeks a fleeting sense of relief, excitement, or escape, only to be overwhelmed afterward by guilt and self-reproach. The cycle perpetuates itself precisely because it simultaneously conceals and expresses deeper conflicts that have never been symbolized or spoken.

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Common Features of Sex Addiction

• Repeated, unwanted sexual behaviors despite negative consequences

• Use of pornography, escorts, affairs, or anonymous encounters to numb distress

• Difficulty experiencing genuine intimacy or sexual connection within a committed relationship

• Double life and secrecy that fuels profound shame and self-loathing

• Escalation in frequency or risk to achieve the same psychological relief

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Integrating Control with Understanding

In my practice, treatment for sex addiction weaves together structured interventions — CBT, DBT, Gestalt Therapy — with the depth of psychoanalytic exploration. This means we work not only to establish behavioral sobriety and clear boundaries, but also to examine the unconscious roots of the compulsivity.

The therapeutic relationship itself becomes a vital space in which trust, honesty, and emotional regulation can gradually develop. Over time, clients begin to find healthier ways to manage painful affects and to cultivate authentic intimacy rather than seeking refuge in secrecy and repetition.

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